Enter the Instant Guilt Killer: the magic of the 95%.

I want to introduce you to your new best friend: The Bell Curve (The Gaussian Distribution). You are reading the words of someone with a finance background, so you should probably expect these kinds of ‘boring’ concepts. But here’s the secret: you might actually grow to like them. They are incredibly useful for making real-life trade-offs.

Take a look at the graphic below. It’s not just a mathematical concept; it is the map of human reality.

This image represents the distribution of almost any human trait or achievement: height, intelligence, professional success, fitness levels, and even daily happiness.

Here is the key takeaway: A full 95% of us live within two standard deviations of the average (-2σ and +2σ). This shaded green area is not “mediocrity.” This is statistically where life actually happens.

And, if you live in a first-world country: congrats! You’re already in the top 1% on the global scale. You are already at the extreme right of the world’s prosperity curve, yet you’re still feeling guilty for not being enough in your local bubble.

The key message: Stop comparing yourself to the 0.1% on Instagram. They’re outliers, often curated and filtered to perfection. Remember, the goal isn’t to settle; it’s to thrive sustainably without the exhaustion of chasing outliers.

This ties directly into what we’ve explored in previous posts. In “The “Have It All” Lie”, we debunked the myth that you can juggle everything without trade-offs. Then, in “The Paradox of Choice: Why More Options Steal Your Freedom”, we discussed how chasing every possibility leads to overwhelm and lost freedom.

The beauty is, the 95% isn’t mediocre, it’s human. It’s where innovation, kindness, and genuine fulfilment happen, away from the pressure of the peaks. If this resonates, you’re already on the path to unhaving it all and shedding the unnecessary burdens to live lighter and freer. The real difficult question is what do you really want? What invisible scripts about sucess or what you should be doing are draining your energy and time.

Ready to take it further? Start with a simple life audit: Assess your current pursuits, identify where guilt from comparison is creeping in, and choose what to let go. For a guided approach, subscribe below!

I’ll be sharing a free life audit template in an upcoming post to help you map out your trade-offs and reclaim your freedom. Don’t miss it.

Did this resonate with you? Leave a comment: What is one “extreme” expectation you’re ready to drop today?

Share this post: Send this to that friend who is currently burning out trying to be a “Super-Human.” Let’s help them kill the guilt.

We are not alone! According to a survey from UserTesting, viewers spend an average of 110 hours per year—nearly five full days—scrolling through streaming menus to find something to watch.

The Sneaky Thief

You have a perfect example of the paradox of choice, a sneaky thief that turns abundance into paralysis and sometimes anxiety. Coined by psychologist Barry Schwartz, it flips the script on what we think makes us happy: more options should mean better decisions, right? Not quite.

Instead, they often lead to paralysis, regret, and a nagging sense of “what if I chose wrong?”

Here’s the breakdown:

• In a world of endless swipes on dating apps, infinite job listings on LinkedIn, or customizable everything (from coffee to careers), our brains overload.

• We analyze every pro and con, fearing we’ll miss the “perfect” one. The result? We delay decisions, or worse, second-guess them forever.

Why fewer options make choices more satisfying? Fewer alternatives mean less opportunity cost = the mental tax of what you didn’t choose.

The Ultimate Paradox

Tie this to life: Chasing “having it all” is the ultimate paradox.

More career paths? You plateau in one while FOMO-ing the possible switch. Endless social invites? You say yes to all, ending up drained with probably few real connections.

It’s like over-leveraging your portfolio: borrowing from your time and energy until you’re bankrupt in peace. As a result, you have no energy to make conscious decisions.

The Portfolio Manager You’ve Never Heard Of

In finance, there’s a concept called the cost of carry: the ongoing cost of holding a position open. A financial option isn’t free just because you haven’t exercised it. It has a premium you paid to acquire it, plus you must consider capital that’s locked and not working elsewhere: an opportunity cost (everything that capital could have done /boutght instead).

Most people apply zero of this thinking to their own lives. We hoard options like they’re free…. But… I confess I also fall for it… They are not.

“Keeping a door open has a price. We just never see the invoice.”

The Three Signs You’re Option Hoarding

1. You describe it as “keeping your options open” but can’t name what option you’d actually exercise, or when.

2. The thought of officially closing it produces a feeling disproportionate to what the thing actually meant to you.

3. You’ve mentioned it to people as something you’re “still considering” for more than six months.

If two of those three are true: it’s not an option. It’s a sunk cost in disguise.

The Audit You Didn’t Know You Needed

Here’s a simple exercise. Write down every open “position” in your life: professional, relational, geographic, creative. Then ask three questions for each:

• What would I actually do if this option matured tomorrow?

• What is the real cost of keeping it alive? (Time, attention, emotional overhead, conversations I’m not having.)

• Am I holding this because it has value, or because closing it feels like loss?

If the honest answer to the third question is “because it feels like loss”, then you’re not managing an option. You’re carrying dead weight and calling it strategy.

“The most powerful portfolio decision isn’t which position to open. It’s which one to finally close when you already lost a lot.”

One Question to Take With You

You don’t need to liquidate your whole life this week. But there’s probably one position you’ve been carrying for too long, that you already know the answer to, and that’s costing you more than it’s worth in clarity, energy, and forward motion.

What is it?

Until next week, — UnHaveItAll The raw audit you didn’t know you needed.

P.S. — Got an open position in your life you can’t close? Hit reply and tell me about it. I read everything.

As a finance professional with 17 years in investment banking and wealth management, I did what I do best: I ran the numbers on the big lie of our generation. Top-tier career. Fit body. Mental peace. Kids (or the decision to have /not have them). 8 hours of sleep. Clean eating. Glowing skin. You name it.

The math? Negative ROI. Because it is exhausting, and you only have one body, one mind, and a finite number of hours per day.

What you’ll find here

No affirmations. No 5 a.m. wake-up clubs. No “productivity hacks” to squeeze more into your already overflowing plate. This is about real trade-offs, cold audits, and the questions nobody dares to ask out loud:

• What if “having it all” was never the goal?

• What if the real power move is un-having the things that don’t serve your bottom line: your sanity?

I’m writing this from Europe, where the hustle culture isn’t seen as a mandatory investment. Cafés where people linger for hours. Shops closed on Sundays. Lives that don’t revolve around “crushing it” at midnight.

But this isn’t about Europe vs. America; it’s just where my background and mindset come from and I wanted you to know this from start. This is about helping others feel more free. Because freedom doesn’t mean keeping infinite options open. It means choosing, even if that means letting go of something.

Who this is for

Whether you’re 25, staring down the fork in the road (career leap or family start? Egg freeze or promotion?), or 35+ juggling the mental load of work, kids, and the invisible to-do list that never ends.

Here, you’ll find tools that make your life easier: the ones that let you decide and declutter. Finance concepts, because our most valuable asset is time. And support, because in the end, we all feel the same struggles.

Why this exists

I’ve run the numbers on every decision. Felt alone many times. Heard the same feedback and questions from friends. I found peace when I let go of the myth, set priorities, and acted on them. I’m here to help you navigate those talks about trade-offs.

What to expect

No filters. Just the raw audit you didn’t know you needed.

• Weekly letters on strategic quitting: what to divest from (guilt, perfectionism, the “yes” that costs everything).

• The Decision Matrix: how to decide without paralysis.

• Frameworks that actually work.

• Anonymous Q&A.

• The European Sense of Proportion: occasional dispatches on balance.

If you’re ready to stop pretending and start choosing, welcome.

Your first step, if you feel like it

A quick audit. List your top 5 “must-haves” right now. Score each on a 1 to 10 for real cost in time, energy, and regret.

What stays? What gets divested today?

Drop it in the comments or send it anonymously. I’ll reply with a no-BS take.

Subscribe below. Let’s un-have it all! So you can have what matters.